marvel is like the grandma that always gives you $100 when you ask for ten and fills up your plate with seconds even though you’re full.
and DC is like that one uncle who’s always an asshole but you keep inviting over for dinner hoping that things will be better this time but they never are.
if i have a daughter im going to name her lizard and then she’ll get the nickname liz and everyone will be like “oh is it short for elizabeth?” and she will have to say “no my name is lizard”
i am only one girl, i can’t handle all these options 5SOS. having 10 different versions of the album is making my brain turn to goo I don’t know which one to buy.
Fun fact: fall out boy fans actually know close to no fall out boy lyrics but will have a reaction close to a religious awakening if you reveal some to them
Teacher: you — Me: ARE A BRICK tiED TO ME THA’tS DRAggiNG ME DoWn [JUMPS ONTO DESK] STRIke A maTCH AND I’LL bUrn YOU To THE gROUnd [JUMPS OFF AND FLIPS THE DESK] WE ARE THE JACk-o-lanTERNs in JULy SETTIng FIRE TO thE SKy [PUNCHES TEACHER] he-hE’RE COMEs this RISIng TIde [BREAKS DOWN DOOR SCREAMING IN THE HALLWAY] So ComE OnN [GRABS MARKERS AND SMEARS ON MY FACE] PUt on yOUR WAr paINt
i hate when you have to order at a restaurant, but all the menu items have really goofy or long names. like wtf its so embarrassing to look your waiter in the eyes and be like “yes i’ll have Uncle Jimmy’s Finger Lickin’ Rib Ticklin Hootin-n-Hollerin’ Cajun Heat Super Stack Supreme Cheese Burger.”
